May 15, 2012
I’ve never run out of gas in my car. Yet I always fill it up. I have no evidence that my car actually needs gas to run.
Tree surgeons abuse wordplay more than any occupation I can think of.
I bought a tv antenna in an attempt to get some channels in my bedroom. End result: 2 channels, PBS and NBC. Now my tv is always on NBC when I turn it on. I think this must be how Leno gets ratings.
Most of the time I spend on Facebook is spent resisting posting funny comments about people’s baby pictures.
I’m scared thinking about how much I’d be willing to pay for Starburst jelly beans without grape.
I always thought I’d have to make the movie about my life, but then I saw Tokyo Drift.
January 19, 2012
The fine folks at Oreo have figured out how to break my addiction to Golden Oreos … $4.50 a box! If I ever see them on sale, I’m buying a hundred. (This was the price at Giant, the same box at Target was $3. So I buy them there now.)
Would it be impolite to ask people what they are getting from Redbox? I always want to know.
I’m not a big fan of book clubs, maybe that’s why I never liked going to church.
I got my car detailed after New Years. My car is almost 3 years old. It wasn’t really dirty, but it sure needed a solid vacuuming inside. After getting it back, I had no desire to drive it. It looked brand new. All I can do is ruin it.
Also from the car detailing, when I got my car back, on the front seat was a wedding invitation to my friends Mike & Laura’s wedding, which was, well, a while ago. So look around your car and see what you find. I feel like the majority of findings would be wedding invitations.
I’m busy writing an open letter to everyone writing open letters on their blogs. You don’t need a hook for everything you write. Every once in a while, it is an interesting angle to use. You know what you call an open letter on a blog without an open and close? A blog post, what you probably every day without this quirk.
December 10, 2011
I still have a few things in my notebook from the summer, meaning I didn’t keep a notebook the entire semester and I’m a little upset about that. I’ll clean it out now and hopefully that will encourage me to fill it with some new things.
Do walkie-talkies have infinite battery life? Whenever the world comes to an end they seem to be the only electronic device that keeps on going.
On Cash Cab a contestant named David called his partner David. I hadn’t though of this before, but I’m against same name marriage.
On the way to work one day this summer I saw a guy picking a CD out of his visor CD case. It was like I was in a time machine.
Things I don’t get that people love to talk about online: Happy Potter, U2, Adele.
Every Sean Kingston song should start with “Yooo, Mista Kingston.’
December 2, 2010
I feel smart when I know the name of a city’s newspaper without having to look it up.
An easily forgotten perk of moving to a new place is getting the various catalogs of the previous resident. Sometimes it comes in really handy. My last apartment I got SI and some other magazines for the entire year. I attempted to have them forwarded but they just came back to me, I put in my effort to correct the problem, I can’t be expected to do any more. You learn a lot about the person that used to live there. Maybe they liked to golf or owned a BMW. The most recent catalog I received was for Boston Coffee Cakes. They have an amazing looking cake of the month club. Sadly, I’ve never belonged to an anything of the month club. However, $290 is a little steep to have some cake delivered each month.
If you are paying with a check at the grocery store, everyone gets to pick something out of your cart to eat while they wait.
I had to break out my suitcases to pack to go home for Thanksgiving break. To clear things up, I went to DC for the weekend to see Penn State play and then had the week off of school to go home. So a suitcase was warranted. But oh the surprises hidden in those suitcases. Hidden inside some of the compartments were a jacket and t-shirt I’d been looking for for months which I thought had mysteriously vanished during my move. So it’s not finding cash in a pocket of old clothing, but it still made my day. Which is hard to do because I so despise packing.
For all the advances in technology in movies, they still haven’t figured out how to make dogs talk. Evidence: Santa Paws
Watch: Sherlock – It was 3 episodes on the BBC and then PBS. Not sure if that was the whole show, or just Season 1. I still have only watched the first one but I’m really anxious to watch the rest but I want to be able to focus and I haven’t had 90 consecutive minutes to do so.
Read: Sleepwalk with Me – Mike Birbiglia’s book. I was worried that I wouldn’t love it because I’ve seen all his standup specials and even saw the Sleepwalk with Me show in NYC last year. I was wrong. It’s so good it made me angry because I won’t be able to write a book that funny.
Listen: Girl Talk – All Day – I’m apparently out of the look on Girl Talk, but no longer.
November 11, 2010
обзавеждане за спалниI’d put my vacuum away, but then where would I hang my jacket?
I rediscovered 50s on 5 on Sirius and learned something I should have already known, there is no such thing as too much Fats Domino.
It’s a simple way out in a song when it starts off slow and then picks up that they actually light a fuse and explode into the heavy part. Except that it’s awesome when Less Than Jake Does it. The Brightest Bulb Has Burned Out/Screws Fall Out
When students uploaded their midterms online, they were able to leave a comment. Most chose to leave nothing, because, why would you? A few took the chance to say, ‘please be nice’ or ‘give me an A’. Seemed odd to me, maybe they feel comfortable doing that with this professor. I didn’t deduct any points. I graded them while watching the Phillies in the playoffs. When they were winning grades were higher, when losing, not so high. A lot of students didn’t do so well.
I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in the country who doesn’t like Bon Jovi. He’s playing at school in February and I’m apparently the only one who doesn’t want tickets. Other bands that are fairly popular that I don’t like: U2, Coldplay, Radiohead. Am I missing any?
On the other hand, if Jon Bovi was playing, I’d be first in line.
Song I shouldn’t like but I do of the week: Sara Bareilles – King Of Anything
October 26, 2010
I’m smarter than you think I am, but not as smart as I think I am.
Whenever I get a new pair of sneakers, I put them on and wear them around the house. It makes no sense because I’m usually just sitting on the couch watching TV. They aren’t really getting broken in. I also keep the shoebox around for months thinking it might come in handy. I had two shoe boxes that I keep anything in and I’ve owned how many pairs of shoes in my life? That’s not a ratio that shows I should be holding on to the box for more than a second.
Last time I went to get my haircut, I found a barbershop that was only open three days a week for a total of twelve hours. It was great and really cheap. So this time, when it came to a haircut, I headed back on a day I was pretty sure was on their schedule. I was right, except they went on vacation for the week. Do you need a vacation from your 12-hour a week job? If so, I want that job. I wound up at a Supercuts that was a lot more expensive and I’m not a fan of the results.
Tailgating after the Penn State game last week Laura and Sarah were surprised to see someone walking around in a banana costume. I had seen him show up and explained, ‘and there’s a gorilla in the port-a-potty.’ I said it in such a way as a grandfather might say in response to ‘you know what they say when you see a banana walking around’. A bit later the gorilla emerged from the port-a-potty and the girls had proof that I wasn’t crazy.
Oldies stations shouldn’t talk about fantasy football. If it didn’t exist in the 60s, it doesn’t exist on the oldies station. Coming out of a song, ‘That was the Dave Clark Five … how did your fantasy football team do this weekend?’, just doesn’t sound right. In fact, the oldies station shouldn’t even mention the fact they are on satellite radio. That would just blow people’s minds in the 60s.
I like that some Blu-Rays download trailers so they are more recent. However, they need to figure something out so they don’t show you a preview for the MOVIE YOU ARE ABOUT TO WATCH! I don’t like previews of the soundtrack for that movie and this is 10x worse.
For a recommendation … ESPN’s 30 for 30 Four Days in October, which is about the Red Sox 4 wins to come back and beat the Yankees in 2004 was so much fun.
October 15, 2010
Heading back to my car in the parking deck one night I was confused why my lights weren’t flashing when I hit unlock. Turned out, it was another black Tiguan. I never see those. Of course, there was a car seat in the back. That seems to be a standard feature of Tiguans.
Possibly my favorite thing about school is my office. It’s my own little hideaway inside the building at school. Yes, I share it with two other students, who are both great, but when I just need to go up outside of my scheduled time, it’s usually empty. When things are stressful and everyone is running around in our MBA commons area, I can get away for some peace and quiet if only for 5 minutes.
The hardest thing I had to do so far in school? Switch which pocket I keep my wallet in. All because I started carrying my school bag, the pocket had to be switched. You won’t imagine how many times a day I’d think I forgot my wallet because it wasn’t in the usual pocket when I checked.
The worst thing to be on the TV after hitting stop on the DVR is Jeopardy. I never turn it on, but I can’t turn it off.
I saw Dinner for Schmucks at the dollar theater. I didn’t even know we had a dollar theater. And it actually cost $1! Tuesdays even the popcorn is $1, I smell a new tradition. As for the movie, it was pretty solid, especially for a dollar. On the way out they had free Sour Patch Kids samples. Win all around.
I don’t have a University of Oregon hat. I thought I should get one but I had a little problem when looking online. I couldn’t find one without a giant Nike logo.
My apartment is getting new siding. An Amish crew is getting the job done. One day I went to leave and the cherry picker basket was blocking the door. I waited a bit and was able to get out because they had it raised up. When I got outside I looked back to see an Amish guy in the basket on a cell phone. I guess they are progressive Amish.
September 27, 2010
We had the chance to buy business cards for cheap (I guess, I don’t know what normal price is). I didn’t get any because I didn’t see the point. I did have a thought that I’d like to get business card stickers. Then I could just peel one off and stick it to a recruiter. I only hope this would catch on and a recruiter would leave campus with 20 business card stickers stuck all over his suit.
As much as I hate baby pictures on Facebook. If you just had a baby, might want to replace the picture of you and your pet with something involving the kid.
The Creamery should have a drive-thru. And delivery.
Fat people are considered lazy, but I’d like to think that in part thanks to my laziness, I’m not fat. Getting food is work, especially leaving the house to acquire food.
New Emo Track: It Hurts to Smile (Sunburn)
I’m so young. In the span of a week, the following things happened:
The barber asked me what grade I was in.
While discussing bad school ID pictures, the comment came in, ‘Yea, but you were a freshman in that picture’ which would have been 9 years ago. No, no. That was from a month ago.
My group was curious how old everyone was. I told them and they were angry with me, as if I were lying to them. I’m at least two years older than the next oldest in the group.
September 14, 2010
The notebook has been slow going. I’m just forgetting to write things down. Also, you won’t get any hilarious jokes about homework or things that happen in class.
Movies need to stop having previews for 500 Days of Summer. It makes me want to put that in instead.
I didn’t care much for the movie Whip It, except that I found Band of Skulls – I Know What I Am was made for Roller Derby.
How did ‘inside out’ win out over ‘outside in’? Same thing, right?
My new apartment is going to be a lot cleaner because often cleaning is a more appealing activity than school work.
I want to go to the zoo. This isn’t one of those funny notes. I just haven’t been to the zoo in a while and I’d like to see some animals. Where is the closest zoo to State College?
June 11, 2010
Emptying out the notebook, hoping for a distraction after the Flyers loss …
I could talk about the NCAA conference rumors for hours on end. I love it. If the Big 10 were to add 5 teams, I’d want Nebraska, Notre Dame, Pitt, Syracuse, and West Virginia. I’d be just as happy if ND decided to stay out of it and then realized they were left out and no one will play them. I was surprised how happy I was when I found out that Nebraska is probably joining the conference tomorrow. Most of this drama has been about money and not geography or tradition. Nebraska fits both of those. Although, on the geography front, I want more eastern teams. PSU is in a different country than the rest of the Big Ten.
I want to be a VP in a fake organization used in product demos. I just want my picture in the fake org. chart so I appear important.
Yawning obnoxiously at your desk should be a punchable offense. I have a long list of punchable offenses in the office. My last week here is going to be enjoyable.
I want to go to hotel maid school to learn how to tuck in sheets like a pro.
I hate when I get hungry in the afternoon. I get upset because I shouldn’t be so hungry with hours to go until dinner. Then I realize I forgot to eat lunch.
The last two mornings I’ve woken up with California Gurls and Telephone in my head. Odd cause I don’t really like either of those songs. At least they go away quickly. Earlier in the week I had Billionaire in my head for an entire day. That one’s catchy.
A lot of people have been asking what I’m going to do with my MBA. I told someone I was going to record a rap album. My rap name? Eminjay.
I had softball this week. The team captain, who I used to work with, hadn’t seen me in a while. As I was throwing out my jokes and making fun of people he commented that he was glad I was still the same smart ass. That was the best compliment I’ve received in a while.
January 20, 2010
I base my chances with starlets on who Topher Grace is matched up with in movies. He hasn’t been in too many movies with a love interest (which is not a good sign). I remember in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! there was Kate Bosworth, but I can’t remember if they were together or just friends. Either way Kate Bosworth was around and that’s a good thing. In Good Company he was married to Scarlett Johansson. Now he’s in Valentine’s Day. I noticed in the trailer that he appears to be with Anne Hathaway. Seems like they are purposely picking actresses that I seem to like less than everyone else does. Valentine’s Day also stars Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, and Taylor Swift. I might never see this movie so that I can stay in denial thinking that he eventually winds up with one of them in the movie.
I’ve been seeing ads for the Mac Snack Wrap and I really want one. I haven’t decided if it looks any good or not, but I want to find out. I don’t really know what is on McDonald’s wrap menu. If you are going to turn a sandwich into a wrap I think my first choice would be a McChicken Wrap.
I find it frightening that I know more people that voted for Bush than like Leno. Leno is bad, but he certainly isn’t Bush-level bad.
They are selling the new CW show Life Unexpected as Juno meets Gilmore Girls. Sadly, it does not star Ellen Page and Alexis Bledel.
Speaking of Life Unexpected. I watched the first episode and I’m hooked. It was nearly a perfect first show. There was one part I didn’t like but it’s a TV show and you have to create some drama. Having one of the characters as a radio show host is a great move. You could use it as the show’s voiceover but I like that it’s also their job, so it isn’t just thoughts from the characters head. Just what I needed too, another CW show. At least it’s replacing Gossip Girl on the schedule for a few months and when that comes back its going to replace One Tree Hill for a few weeks.