Notebook Entries from the Spring

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I’ve never run out of gas in my car. Yet I always fill it up. I have no evidence that my car actually needs gas to run.

Tree surgeons abuse wordplay more than any occupation I can think of.

I bought a tv antenna in an attempt to get some channels in my bedroom. End result: 2 channels, PBS and NBC. Now my tv is always on NBC when I turn it on. I think this must be how Leno gets ratings.

Most of the time I spend on Facebook is spent resisting posting funny comments about people’s baby pictures.

I’m scared thinking about how much I’d be willing to pay for Starburst jelly beans without grape.

I always thought I’d have to make the movie about my life, but then I saw Tokyo Drift.

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