April 16, 2007
Would you believe next month will be two years since I graduated college? Crazy, right? Let’s not even discuss the question, ‘What have you accomplished since then?’ That question is for another time. Maybe when I accomplish something.
What really shocked me was realizing that I will have lived in the same place for more than two years for the first time since I was twelve. After that age I lived in the same place for the following: one year, one year, two years, two years, then college. In college twice I managed to live in the same place for consecutive semesters. I moved between the Fall and Spring during my Freshman and Junior years. Junior year I moved to Minnesota for my co-op where I was for seven months. You’d think I’d be good at packing and moving after all that. You’d think.
With all that, I never really settle in anywhere. I get everything set up for functional use. Why take the time to decorate or unpack unnecessary items if I’m just going to be moving them somewhere else very soon?
I’ve started to ‘move in’ at work, and at home. In my cube, at work, I finally have pictures up of my family and friends. I might have gone a little overboard. I had never printed out pictures before, so I had quite a backlog. I also have a large number of pictures that I really like. Plus, I have really good ones from the stadiums I’ve visited. They are backed with orange and blue paper. This was no small project. For the first few days I was blinded when walking into my cube. Sometimes thinking I may be in the wrong one. I’ve gotten used to it and so far they have been popular. They are eye catching so people will stop when they walk by, then I get to tell stories. I can think of few activities that I enjoy more than telling stories.
When I started this job and moved into the first cube I could potentially be in for a long time (my description of the ‘real world’), I knew I needed some cube flair. I thought it would be a cool idea if I had my friends help out. They are all in different places with new jobs now. I wanted them to send me something related to where they were living and what they were doing. I thought it would create a unique mix that I would enjoy. If its just my stuff up then its not as exciting. That might be interesting to other people, but I want to be entertained too. In total I received one item, and it came nearly six months after my initial request. It was greatly appreciated and proved to me that it was a good idea. It also proved that everyone is lazy. Thinking about it, its likely that I wouldn’t have sent anything either. Although, who knows, I wasn’t asked.
At home I have never really moved in either. I lived here for my last two years of high school. I think I was sick of moving and putting stuff up and I knew I would be leaving for college in only two years. When I moved back after graduation I got a job that was going to require me to move in six months. That job never happened and led to another six months of uncertainty. Once I did get a steady job I wound up buying all sort of new stuff: bed, TV, computer. This caused my room to essentially be restarted from scratch. Many of the spots where I had pictures or other mementos displayed were no longer there. All that remained up were my Phillies bobbleheads: Schmidt, Carlton, Utley, and Howard, and my Ice Cream Helmets. Also, my picture of the last pitch at the Vet.
The picture of the Vet is one of my favorite gifts that I’ve ever received. While it wasn’t a very good stadium, I was very sad to see it go. Its where I watched the Phillies my whole life. I was there when they won the pennant in 93 and for the 96 All Star Game. I’m sure I went to well over 100 games there. The picture also helps when people think of an impossible question, such as, ‘Who was the last hitter at the Vet?’ I can say Chase Utley without even thinking. Oh, and by the way, he hit into a double play. When I went to my first game at Citizen’s Bank Park, shortly after going in, I saw the exact same type of picture for the first pitch at CBP. I knew I had to have it. I think I wound up getting it for my birthday. This week it was finally put up on my wall alongside the one of the Vet. This picture had been moving around my room for a long time now. Each time I moved it, I thought, ‘Am I staying here? Is it time to put it up?’ Putting it up, for me, was the sign that I finally moved in.
One might take all this to mean that I’m finally settling in and becoming content with where I’m at. However, being content is certainly not where I’m at and not somewhere I ever hope to be. I need to be reaching for something. To me, being content is the same as being lazy. Being content is just convincing yourself that you’re happy and that you’re always going to be that way. Perhaps this ‘moving in’ just means that I’m continuing the cycle. I can’t move on until I move in. But on to what?