American Gladiators is Back

Mike, TV No Comment

After all the years of waiting for American Gladiators to come back it finally did on Sunday Night. It was terrible. As things went on the skip ahead button on my remote became my friend. The events are tolerable but the amount of talking to the contestants and gladiators is unnecessary. The dialog all seems scripted and Hulk is just horrible.

Some thoughts …
– Who is this mystery announcer? Why isn’t he on screen? He seems a little too into some of the gladiators.
– Hey Hulk, when talking to the contestants, ‘So, you’re a fireman’ is not a question. Do not point the microphone in the persons direction after saying that and expect an answer. Good thing the fireman can read cue cards.
– There was a gladiator joust specialist for both the men and the women. The female one seemed to do alright. The male gladiator got DQ’d on both matchups. If you are the specialist you shouldn’t be getting DQ’d. When you are 3-feet taller than your opponent you should be able to take care of business.
– They ruined assault. The contestants seem scared. I think it might be the clear shields. Now they can see the ball coming and they flinch. What is up with the hidden arrow in the sand?
– The multiple angle replays at different speeds with dramatic music are unnecessary.
– The thumbs down and good bye music whenever anyone falls needs to go.
– They need to stop with the countdown right before an event and then cutting to commercial. In the joust it was 3-2-1-Commercial. Who is watching saying, ‘Well I wasn’t going to keep watching but now I’m hooked.’?
– Wasn’t the old Hang Tough a lot bigger? Seems like its only 4 rows of rings now.
– When they were coming up with gladiator names, where there any other suggestions before coming up with Wolf?
– Is the new Siren deaf?
– Aren’t their uniform requirements for gladiators?
– On the rings the women went up again Fury. She got the first contestant in her signature move ‘the suicide squeeze.’ Its the first time, how does she already have a signature move? Has she been competing in some sort of Hang Tough that is not related to AG?
– The ref is pretty intense.
– They better not have gotten rid of the hamster ball game.
– The winners of this season become gladiators next year. Will they go on steroids between seasons and come back huge? With there be a competition to see which gladiators aren’t coming back?

New events: Earthquake, and the bridge (I forget what it’s actually called). Neither one is all that great. Earthquake is just wrestling while trying not to fall off. The bride one is a little better. It would be one I’d be willing to include in my American Gladiator Experience.

The Eliminator: Swimming under fire? What is the point of the spool? The hand bike needs to be oiled. Are the contestants really that bad that they can’t make it up the treadmill incline?

It may just be that I haven’t watched an entire episode of the old on is a while but I don’t remember it being nearly this bad, at least the dialog.

At this point I’m going to stick with it but I’m going to be quick on the skip ahead button. If they want to keep me around they better keep introducing new events or at least new wrinkles in the current events. In the later rounds they should switch up The Eliminator. I’m not tuning in for my favorite contestant. I’m not going to have one if they keep making them say stupid things.

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