Borderline Fantastic

The topic is pretty self-explanatory.  It is a difficult question to ponder however, do you prefer the warm and fuzzy feel-good crap, or does a more depressing flavor wet your appetite?  As for me:

5. Love, Actually.  Does a good job of intertwining the storylines, you’ve got Christmas as a backgound for some solid dry, British comedy.

4. Home Alone (1 and 2).  I group these films together for obvious reasons.  I like New York as a backdrop in the second film, but the house of tricks in the original trumps the abandoned brownstone in number 2.

3.  Scrooged.  The type of movie I have to watch whenever it is on tv.  The best version of Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol”, and Bill Murray is just at the top of his game.

2. It’s a Wonderful Life.  Most people put this at number 1, which is why I put it at number two.  Underrated for it’s comedic moments.  Donna Reed may be the hottest actress of the black and white era.

1.  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  This one has it all.  Nothing beats Randy Quaid pumping out the septic tank or Clark’s rant at the end of the film.

Audio: m4a mp3
Running Time: 33:04

Topics
Thanksgiving
-Happy Turkey Day
Evan notices announcers talking about double moves during football games.
5 Year High School Reunion
I’ve heard so much about you.
College Football
(more…)

1) People who slurp coffee/soup/etc. at their desks.

2) Anyone who calls me sweetie, darling, honey, kid, asks my age, etc…

3) The guy who wedges himself in the corner seat in our weekly board meeting, props his head up on the corner-walls, falls asleep, and farts

4) Creepy old men

5) Printer nazis

The Top 5 are the highlights, I could go on all day around here…

Audio: m4a mp3
Running Time: 38:35

Topics
Thanksgiving
-Plans
-Seating
-Food
-Have you ever had salad with Thanksgiving Dinner?
-Dessert
-Leftovers
College Football
-Weekly Picks
-Heisman
-Top Five
(more…)

I have no luck when it comes to cars. Scratch that, my cars have no luck.

Last night my Mom backed her car into mine. In the driveway! The result of being backed into was scrapes on the passenger side going from the wheel to the back of the car.

I’ve been concerned about bumping into one of the other cars in the mornings because our driveway is so dark, the black mini-van is usually behind me, down the driveway, and the back window is usually fogged or icy. The driveway also narrows toward the end which barely allows for two cars to fit. Oh, and its 6am, so I’m wide awake.

It wasn’t even the first time that this has happened. My Freshman year of college my car stayed at home and my sister backed into it. Completely dented all around one of the front wheels. The car was older and wasn’t worth fixing. Still, my sister was so scared of my reaction I wasn’t told until right before the next time I was coming home. Try and imagine the different in anger level when your 8 year old car is hit compared to an 8 month old car.

Only one of my cars has ever been totaled. I wasn’t even in it at the time. My sister, only having had her permit for a few days took our car (it was both of ours) out with my step-dad to practice. In the neighborhood across the street a bus ran a stop sign and turned right into the car. It was entirely the bus driver’s fault (crazy side note: the bus driver was related to my dad). I wound up running to the other neighborhood only to see them attempting to drive it back. One of the saddest sights I’ve ever seen. The only bright spot was that my sister said the CD didn’t skip. It was Green Day’s Warning. From then on the car that replaced that one I referred to as mine, my sister had half and car and she broke it.

While the worst damage seems to occur when I’m not in the car I haven’t entirely avoided car trouble. Just a few weeks ago my car got a flat. That was somewhat stressful but I bought extra warranty for my tires so it didn’t cost me a dime. My real bad day happened back in high school. My car was sounding funny on the way to work. I decided to go back home and borrow one of the other cars. Something seemed wrong with that car as well on the way, but I was out of options. When I made it to work I found it had a flat tire. Fantastic. The day I broke two cars is still discussed to this day. Hey, at least I didn’t back into a parked car.

I’m limiting this to shows on the Fall schedule. 24 and Scrubs won’t be on my list but would be right up at the top if they were on right now.

1. The Office
2. Lost
3. Heroes
4. Veronica Mars
5. How I Met Your Mother

The Office is far and away the front runner here. Not only is it the funniest show on right now, I’ve even been on board for the romantic parts of the show that some people seem to hate. Needless to say, I’m pumped for the new love triangle.

I liked Lost a lot better watching them straight through on DVD. Still its an incredibly well done show that I couldn’t give up on even if it started to get really bad.

Heroes shot into the list quickly this season, its leveled off but I’m expecting big things the rest of the way.

Veronica Mars continues to be solid and I don’t know anyone besides my sister and I that watch the show. There is something very wrong with that. I don’t think anyone has watched the show, because I only think it takes one to get hooked.

I missed the first season of How I Met Your Mother and I’m kicking myself. Its been hilarious every week.

Others:
Studio 60 is inconsistent so far. One week its the best episode of the TV season and the next its blah. I think it has huge potential and am really happy that it got a whole season.
Grey’s Anatomy came into the season with high hopes. I have a love-hate relationship with the show but right now I hate it because its boring not because the characters are being evil.

Audio: m4a mp3
Running Time: 35:11

Special Guest: Matt

Topics
Evan is chased by UF Security
Ruling: Girls Wearing Revealing Clothing
Possible phone face-off solution
Matt on The Janke Chronicles
College Football
Future Shows and Rambling
(more…)

That was the fortune in my Fortune Cookie today. I’ve never heard any superstitions about fortune cookies but people must have some. If they don’t, they should. Here are some possible superstitions you could have about your fortune.

1. You must finish your meal before opening the Fortune Cookie.
Here you would have to define what finishing actually is. Its Chinese food so finished would have to be for that particular meal. There are always leftovers.

2. You cannot share your fortune.
Is it like a birthday wish? If you share it won’t come true. It seems like fortunes are always shared and discussed. Its the most enjoyable part of the Fortune Cookie.

3. You must eat the entire Fortune Cookie. Except of course for the fortune.
I don’t think I’ve ever eaten the cookie. However, I think this is the most logical superstition of the bunch.

For today I finished my food, by writing this I’m sharing, and I did not eat the cookie. I still hope that I will soon be involved in many gatherings and parties.

Audio: m4a mp3
Running Time: 38:48

Topics
Election Eve
Halloween
Celebrity Lookalike Site
Public Restrooms
Pegasus Wind
College Football
Three Team Football
Evan Must See Borat
(more…)

Its that time of year, the decorative holiday towels have been un-boxed and a series of them will be rotating through the kitchen and bathrooms here at home. Out of all the decorations that come throughout the year these easily reach the Top 3 along with bells attached to doors and anything that plays music when motion is detected.

It starts around here with Halloween. You have your towels with ghosts, monsters, pumpkins, all sorts of spooky things. Then it moves right on to Thanksgiving: Turkeys, Pilgrims, perhaps some corn or falling leaves. Then things just get out of hand with Christmas. Santa and his reindeer, Frosty and his frozen friends, snow, snow, and more snow.

I understand the idea of going all out in decorating for the holidays. I was conditioned from birth that for the holidays the house is to be transformed into something completely unrecognizable from what you are used to. I would accept the towels as part of this package but something goes very wrong. These towels are a quarter the size of the normal hand/dish towels. Not only that, the decoration is some sort of plastic that takes up the majority of surface area. Making the towels unable to perform their natural duty: to dry things, such as my hands.

There are some simple solutions that would please me. The easy way is just to have colored towels with nothing on them. That would be plenty festive. If you must have your plastic pictures on there then please, make the towels a little bigger so that its not costing me any drying space.

I’ve never heard anyone else complain about these but I think everyone has secretly been cursing these things and not telling anyone because the idea is preposterous. Who would be upset with such adorable little towels?